HB 30 years old

I was in a coffe place, waiting for the time to meet my friends to watch the movie Superman. I had a view of the counter, and saw this blond girl, HB7.5. She looks at me, I look at her, and we smile. She walks to her place way behind me. So I stand up, walk straight up to get a napkin, then turn and go back to my place. That got me to see that she was sitting alone. I had spent a good part of the day sarging, so I just walked to her and said hi. We introduced ourselves, and I number closed her immediately and told her i couldn't stay because my friends were waiting (and, as a man, my friends are important to me).

Fast forward to the day2:

I don't know why, but my frame was super good. I was very relaxed, and was able to vibe with her while analysing the situation as it unfolded. It's amazing how much brain power is lost when one is nervous.

At first I wanted to just do regular talk: "what you do, where u from, how long in Montreal, etc.". I felt this to be necessary because I really had no clue who or what she was, and teasing her would appear too forced out.

She tested me gently in several ways:

1-she asked me my age, i made her guess (she said 27,I'm 25). she made me guess hers, I guessed low on purpose at 26, and she said she was 30!.

(what is it with me and older women?)

The testing part was that she wanted to see my reaction:
I was totally reactionless, she could've scratched her nose for all I cared. I just said "cool" and carried on with the convo.

Even better, it allowed me to raise my value two times:

Once ,she mentioned some AFC friends of hers who told her "I bet you were very pretty when you were younger" (ouch). I paced her mood and commented on how clueless some guys are about women. I went to a true story on how I screwed up WAY BACK when I was ten and told a girl I'd forgotten her name, and that the mean look the girl gave me stayed with me since.

I then told another story on my norwegian ex-gf, who is 28 (implying I date older women)., and how we ended our it because we both didn't want a long distance relationship, but that we still hook up when we meet (sexual man frame)

2-She asked me if I always pick up women like I did with her, just by a smile and #closing. I again was very relaxed. I spoke to her in a way that fully expressed the reality I (supposedly) live in: that of a natural who is, and always has been, fully comfortable with himself as a sexual man, and who expresses it openly.

Of course, that wasn't what I said.

I told her: "of course, I smile to people all the time, why shouldn't I? It's amazing how afraid some guys are of just smiling to random people. What's gonna happen to them, get killed?".

Hehe, she totally bought it.

3- At some point I teased her and she gave me the finger while laughing. Again I kept on smiling and ignored it.

4-She answered her phone. I punished her by casually looking around and watching the cute women nearby. She apologised and ended it quickly. While she was talking, and since my neck was turned towards her, I started playing with my own hair at the base of the neck and gently pulling it, a la evolution-phase-shift.

Lol, no fucking clue if it helps though, but I felt like doing it.

Now for the sexual teasing part. I finally started to get a feel of how to do this. It's basically like you tease your female friends, with sexual innuendo thrown in. The best way is of course to misunderstand everything she says:

1-(while leaving) Her: You're going to the restroom?
Me: yeah
Her: me too.
Me: what, together? Sure babe, let's do it.
Her: (friendly push, laughs)

2- I told her a story about living in the dorms and what crazy stuff happens there (sexual story). She then said that she didn't do the dorm thing. I said: "Yeah, you're no party girl, not fun". She gave me the finger while smiling.

(note to self: You could've started the kino right there, by holding that finger!)

3-Her: I'm carrying too many things, cell phones, bag, etc...
Me:(as if thinking about a solution) Take off your clothes then.
Her:(again pushes me, giggles).

I made several mistakes, I think:
-I should have maybe qualified her. I don't think I complimented her much.
-Not enough sexual teasing, no kino, and WAY too much time spent talking about our respective ex's.
-not enough rapport and connection.

Good points:
-I felt totally natural, or at least as close as I can at my level. It's probably because I'm gaming several girls at the same time.
-I was definitely NOT intimidated by her age, and she noticed it.
-I prepped her for the next meeting: I like eating ice cream, and said that she should come with me to this great place I know.
-I remembered the advice on swearing during convo as a good thing, and included it in my stories.

In conclusion: Not bad overall, the sexual teasing and passing the shit tests established the frame I had intended "I am a sexual man, I hook up with chicks often, no big deal". I had a little rapport with her, with stories about my childhood during the war, and how the country where I grew up will always be home to me.

Man this girl's face is a 7.5, but her body's a solid 8. The key words for next time are: ESCALATE the kino, qualify and compliment, state that I dig her, and lower the energy level a notch.

Cheers,
F

HB7 resists to kino

I went to this gathering at this house. My intent was not to sarge, but rather to get to know some people there who would help me with a small project I’m working on.

So I get there, and I don’t know anybody. The hostess says hi, and through her I get to pretty much go around the whole social circles there. It was not a party with loud music, so I was just having interesting conversations with the different people there.

This girl, HB7, is clearly interested in me. Either it’s because she saw me as socially comfortable, or because she was directly attracted to me, or both. I eventually start talking with her and isolate her to a couch.

In the couch, and after my recent string of fucked-up day 2s, I stayed clearly away from all the wrong topics. Instead, I started qualifying , asking her: “What do you do? No, not your job, but what do you DO, as a passion?”
Luckily enough for me she says she writes stuff. I myself have been scribbling in a small journal of mine for a while now, so I start asking and talking about the emotions behind writing.

Me: “Writing for me is not like this thing you can program in advance, it’s like this urge, this tension that needs to get out” I went on on how the urge and tension need to be thrown on paper, and bla bla bla.

All the time I was talking slowly, and pointing to myself. Not sure if it’s a good thing to self point, coz it logically meant I was a piece of paper and that she has this urge to dump ink on me :-) . But I guessed that since girls ain’t logical, it’s the emotions I was stirring in her that mattered .

I think it worked, she was staring at me, lips parted and all that. And when it was time to leave she said how the time passed so fast she didn’t notice. One IOI was that, as she was talking about herself, she mentioned her boyfriend, but said “my boyfriend” in such a low voice that it was clear she didn’t want me to give it any attention (and I didn’t). I had asked her before who she knew here, and luckily she knew no one, so no cockblocking happened , and I could game her uninterrupted.

Fast forward to the day 2, like a week after. (this sunday)

I tried to plan it as much as possible. I told her I wanted to go to this cool ice cream place (which, coincidentally, just HAPPENS to be near my place ). We got the ice cream and then I told her that I needed to buy juice, and that we could eat the ice cream in my air-conditioned room.

Now the problem was she was resistant to kino. Throughout our entire interaction I could see she was attracted, but didn’t want the kino.

When I said I wanted to go home to drop the juice, she mentioned how she preferred that we sit outside afterwards. Regardless, I went in, and poured some juice in a glass. In my room, she was on the bed, and I manoeuvered myself on it also.
Then I tried more stories, more kino, even the evolution phase shift just for the fuck of it (not to get the kiss, but just for more kino!) and still that resistance.

I then walked her to the metro entrance, we kissed realy close to the mouth, and when i tried kissing her, she had a timid smile and leaned back, gesturing silently with her hand for me to slow down.

Here is my take on it:
-I wasn’t showing enough of a sexual frame. Somehow the vibe I was giving off was that of the nice guy/boyfriend material. The thing is she HAS a boyfriend, so what the fuck!? Is she testing the waters with me to see if she can dump him for a better provider??
-She is CLEARLY attracted to me, and a such might be trying to cocktease me and control me by controlling the sex.

The good points:
-I started instinctively knowing how to steer the convo towards the emotions behind every topic.
-I qualified her.
-I planned the day 2 logsitics well, and got her in my bed relatively smoothly.
-But the best thing is that I DON”T GIVE A SHIT. She is barely a 7, and I got two girls who are hotter than her that I’m currently gaming. I had none of that scarcity mentality.

So I’m gonna wait for her to call, and then I’ll set the apropriate rules (basically we go back to my place and fuck or you’re out). And if she doesn’t call I don’t really care.

Cheers,
F.

So where am I in the game?

Man, my last post was pretty depressing.

However, there is a lot of truth in it. I've learned that, as I'm in the process of taking charge of my life (and learning to enjoy it), it is a good thing to acknowledge our fears.

Let me explain: what I do a lot is write down things. Most of the time I write positive affirmations about myself: "I am a confident person, I’m always in control of any social situation, etc..."
These things help a lot, and they allow me to refocus my behavior. For example, when in a confusing situation, I now ask myself: "what do I want? what are my priorities? " Having written down many elements describing me, what I care about and what do I want to become, it becomes simpler to "deconfuse" my behavior.

The other day was a good case in point. This asian girl I've been gaming on and off is part of my social circle. I screwed up with her by not being decisive enough, and when being alone with her I would just forget that I'm gaming her, and slip into normal logical conversations. The result is what I call BLEH: she doesn't know what I want, and feels that I don't either, and we end up in this awkward confused state with one another.

Well, I've learned now to show my intent. I called her the other day, and told her "Let's meet, you and me, one on one". I also did that with another girl. This may sound like nothing special, but to me it is: I’m learning to express my desires in a clear-cut way, no bullshitting.

This is very important in the game: When hitting on a girl, at some point (depending on if you do Direct or Indirect game), you have to show your intent. As I'm an insecure person who is terrified of rejection, I've unconsciously been playing it safe, for example:

-When walking on the street, I have this aloof and closed vibe. I used to think this would make me look cool and impress the girls. My face would have a totally closed expression: lips pressed together, slight frown, looking only ahead, and avoiding eye contact. This shit might have been impressive, but then what? Nobody would want to talk to someone this closed-up. This behavior is of course a protection mecanism, to avoid exposing oneself and risk failure.

-When practicing opening and starting to talk to a girl, in addition to not having a warm, open expression, I would stick to either a serious conversation, or become overly cocky and funny. This last part was a sticking point for me, as I tend to become overly sarcastic as a way to avoid reaching out to the girl, and tell her I’m interested.

-Even if my cocky and funny was working (and can thus be called playful teasing), I would be afraid to phase shift: At some point one must escalate, and start asking qualifying questions, telling stories about himself, doing kino, etc...

So those three points atually have the same root cause: the fear of exposing oneself.

As I've mentioned ad nauseam before, I have inner game issues. For the past decade or so (I'm 25), I've spent my life being passive, playing it safe. I'm so used to shielding myself that it fucks up my game. At the end of the day, picking up a girl is about confidently expressing the following two questions :"Hey, you seem interesting, let's find out", and "Hey I'm interested in you, let's dance". At all times, the man MUST take the lead, and that means taking the first step, and putting himself out there.

Well, the road is harsh. It is also very slow. My greatest sticking point right now is still to actually walk up to a girl and initiate the talk. This is at its hardest when I'm alone. When I'm sarging with someone, it's easier because we push one another. Because I tend to idealize things, I would constantly imagine myself in some "near" future as having no approach fear. This is the sort of passive daydreaming that plagues me still. I've learned now that it all happens in small increments. For example, previously I would spend the entire day talking myself to open sets, and wouldn't open ANYBODY. Now it seems I can do at least a few, before my insecurities of being "pointed at" creep back, and I'd stop.

Think of them as micro baby steps :- )

The maturing process I’m going through is that of bridging the gap between the idealized “me” that I’ve create in my mind, and the present me. I’m learning to be imperfect, and to accept it and go with it. I acknowledge my fears, and try to give myself a break. What I still need to do is truly appreciate the results that I obtain now. I mean, I AM hitting on girls. I AM asking for phones numbers, doing kino, going out with other people, “risking exposure” and being ridiculed, and risking failure.

And I’m getting some (imperfect) results, let’s see:

-Stating to the asian girl that it’s time to stop playing hide-and-seek with one another and meeting mano a mano.
-Following up on a fool’s mate: I was in a coffee place, and this girl smiles at me. I’ve only recently been holding eye contact, and only just started “risking” a smile. I then walked over to her and number closed her. It might not seem like much, but only a few months ago, I would have played it aloof and walked away.
-Getting on with the kino. Definitely in the beginning stage (high-fiving a la PU101, and light touching).
-Number closing a girl in the metro in a few minutes. She was foreign and only had been in town for a few days. After telling her I wanted to see her, she tells me she has a boyfriend. I smile, tell her that it’s cool, that I have two girlfriends, and give her my phone so she can write her email. Not expecting an answer from her though, the gaming wasn’t tight.
-Number closing this girl waiting for someone in front of the mall. Her story is quite interesting, maybe I’ll tell it in another post. However, she’s 18, so I’ll only do something if she calls me first.
-Going direct: lol this one is so fucked up! This GORGEOUS woman working in a small store in the mall. I go in and tell her “I think you’re cute” I was shaking, my tonality and body language were TERRIBLE. Still, I persisted, tried teasing her and failed, tried negging her and failed, trying passing her shit tests and mostly failed. She was nice enough not to tell me to fuck off, she was actually enjoying it (a good-looking guy making a fool of himself seems to be an enjoying sight).
-Note: this is why it sucks to hit on people who work in malls: you will see them again as you sarge in the same venue, and that’s annoying. It shouldn’t be. But it is to me.
-Doing tight game on this girl at a social gathering: It wasn’t a cold approach, and she seemed to already like me because I was very sociable and talked to every one (and oh yeah, I’m good looking too :-) ). Still, I had enough guts to isolate her, and managed to qualify her and connect with her. First time I sucessfully did some SS. I got her to say at the end how she feels like she always knew me. Still, I called her and told her to call me, but she hasn’t yet.

So here it is, my current status in this game. To summarize:
-I’m learning to present an open appearance, I walk around relaxed, lips slightly parted (I think this is CRUCIAL), and try to smile right before opening (as if something amusing was happening to me before I decided to talk to the girl). This relaxes the chicks.
-I’m learning to state what I want, and specify that I’m interested in the girl sexually.
-I’m learning to love myself, and enjoy the present time.

That last point is still far off :- )

Cheers.
F.