Body langage post

Very interesting post from Psyneh's blog. It deals with the importance of body langage. I particularly noticed the fact that one should not put his hands in his pockets. Why is that? If it conveys a relaxed state, and if you are not holding anything or leaning on anything, but are standing, then what do you do with your hands?
Anyway, Psyneh's blog is pretty cool, so check it out for good material.


"C'est qui son dieu?"
F.

C+F good, rudeness BAD part 2

After the first set (see previous post), it becomes easier to open people. My problem for the next two sets is that a lot of time I try to be c+f but it is just NOT funny, and downright rude sometimes. I think I was too aggressive a lot of times because I was trying to overcome giving off a beta impression, and also because I was focusing so much on not stalling.

--->Set 2, the "average" one:

This one is a 3-set, 3 girls, one cute (HB7, nice body), the other one somewhat UG, the last one major UG. I opened the HB7 with the Quebec-girls-short opener (see previous post). I have read a lot on group theory, and on how one should not open the target, but rather the ugly ones, but I didn't do it.
HB7 did not reject me, and answered the opener (don't remember what she said). She then asked me where I was from. I told her from Tanzania. I am not from there, but I said so because it is a relatively unknown country, and the name sounds cool. Plus, since I'm white and the country is in Africa, there was a lot of conversation potential.

Her: Where are you from?
Me: Tanzania.
Her: (has no clue where that is) Where is that?
My idea was go into C+F by busting her for not knowing where Tanzania was. I started by acting offended and proudly asked her how can she not have possibly heard of Tanzania. I then go into talking on how the Quebec school system is messed up, how the teaching level is low, and how students don't know anything.

Now, this part wasn't particularly funny (not at all actually), still since I was not beta-smiling my strong attitude was challenging to her, so she started qualifying herself: she started saying how she is a Psychology major, how her GPA is 3.8/4, etc... In my mind I was like WTF?? It really is the first time a girl is trying to impress me with her grades. Now that I think about it, THAT would have been good c+f, and I would have made the situation lighter if I had talked about how she was trying to impress me wit her grades, and smiling while I said so, etc...

However I didn't do that, instead I just thought that I have to avoid talking about grades (work or studies is no good for PU), so I told her in a serious manner that what I look for in a girl is her passion, her enthusiasm for life (you know, all that chick crack). I should have been aware that I hadn't made the girl laugh yet, not once.
Then the girl turns to one of her friends and repeats what I just said, about looking for passion and stuff. I still don't understand why she did that, it wasn't the classical "girl makes fun of guy by whispering in the ear of her friend". In order not to appear waiting for her, I first casually turned to another girl next to me, and stared at her for a while in a cool detached way. Then I looked at the third girl in my set, the UG one, and had a nice friendly nod to her, to which she responded, and we bumped our beer bottles.
The HB7 then proceeded to introduce me to the girls, I shook hand with the UG, then the other girl. Then I repeated the UG's name to be sure, then the other girl, but instead of repeating the HB7's name, I thought i would be cool if i dismissed it as unimportant.

That was the breaker, I realised later that I was on thin ice with HB7 since I had only my somewhat aggressive attitude going for me, I wasn't even entertaining her. When I dismissed her telling me her name, she was like oh alright, that's it then, and huddled with her friends. And I exited.

Good points: again the attitude is at least not beta anymore. However I am too aggressive and not funny. I should pay more attention to what effect I am having on the target with the attitude I'm projecting.
Bad points: not entertaining her: my attitude was challenging to her, so she responded to that, but at one point she started seeing me as rude. When she started telling me about her average for ex., I should have maybe found a way to give her a positive nod to that, or at least to turn it into something funny.


Anyway, as for set 3, well it was just terrible lol, I became downright creepy.

---> Set 3, the "bad" one:

We went to another club, and I also walked too much. Then I noticed this cute girl,and there was a short guy with her. I started thinking on what to do, then I noticed that the guy was actually hitting on her, so he wasn't her boyfriend or friend. So I stood next to her, our backs to the bar, and then I asked her what she was drinking.
Note: starting from here, in an attempt to avoid stalling, I started blurting whatever came to my mind. As you'll see it is not so good:

Me: Watcha drinking?
Her: Sex on the beach.
Me: That is not a popular drink in here.
Her: huh?
Me: Yeah, girls here tend to drink vodka and stuff (no clue what the hell im talking about lol)
Her: no response.
Me: I quickly went into my ShortGirls opener.
She responded, I also included the guy in the question (he was just standing there). She answers something, then says she has heels. She then asks me where I'm from, and I do the Tanzania thing. She again has no clue, and again I act all offended, and ask her how old she is. She says 17 (Yikes! i think legally if I did something with her it would be considered child abuse).
Then her girl friend joins us, and we're still talking about Tanzania, and I tell them it is in Africa. They are surprised because I'm white. I don't know what the hell I was doing after that, i guess just blurting anytthing in my mind: I told them that yes there are lots of white people in Africa, we the white people came and slaughtered the aboriginals, and by the way your ancestors too (pointing to the girls, who are white) when they came to North America they redefined the word massacre.

LOL as you can imagine, this went very bad! These girls are not even 18, they started looking at me in a horrified way, and the girl started to tell me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, with all my stuff about killing people. I stared at her with a huge grin for a good while, which she held... (hey at least I was not BETA!! remember that I am still at the lowest rAFC level) and then left.

Funny enough, the guy actually complimented me on my act with the girls, and told me I was very cool. I take that positively, in the sense that I showed absolutely no fear. In that sense, I consider that night to be quite good.

Comments are of course more than welcome, cheers everyone.

"C'est qui son dieu?"
F.

FR: C & F good, rudeness bad! Part 1

Okay first field report ever!

In my previous post I talked about how my low self-esteem has always messed up my relationships with girls. My main fear is in opening: I am so sensitive to criticism that any rejection affects me terribly. To be very honest, I am terrified with the cliche of people pointing a finger at me and laughing at me.This is why I have never so far really opened a set. My current "sarging" was limited to walking in the malls and shops and bookstores, and talking to people who work there (because they expect you to talk to them, so no risk of rejection there). I know...it's pathetic. As much as i try rationalizing, getting angry at myself, motivating myself, it has happened to me before that I go to a club with the specific goal of sarging, only to find myself unable to open a SINGLE set, not even girls on their own.

Anyway, this is why yesterday was a milestone, I finally managed to open a set. I have found that making eye contact first is a good idea, as it makes the inital talking more natural to me.
Of the main 3 sets I opened, things went from good, to average, too bad. I am still a beginner, so "good" for me means maintaining a fun conversation for some time. I will talk about all three of them in chronological order.

NOTE: my opener that entire night was one I invented on the spot: "Hi there, I need a female opinion on something...There is a theory that Quebec girls tend to be short...Is that true? why? etc...". I liked it, and it worked in opening sets, because it is very relevant (Since I AM in the province of Quebec, and girls DO tend to be short IMO). Also, it is about the girls themselves, their own favorite topic :-)

--> First set (the "good" one)
It was a one set, an HB6 objectively, but since she is my type (tall, thin, brunette), let's say HB7.
She was in the first club we went to, and as I was walking around the club a lot (I know, I know, one should not walk too much, it's AFC), I saw her several times, and she saw me too. Eventually I passed by her closely, made EC and opened her.

me: you-think-Quebec-girls-short??
her: don't remember what she said, but did not reject me, she answered, and then mentioned that she is from switzerland.
me: (i like this opener in that, no matter if she is a local or not, I can say: "oh good, then you know what you are talking about OR oh good, you have an outsider's insight on that matter" ). I then asked her about what she thought of Quebec girls in general. I specified the typical girl from here i.e. well dressed, take care of themselves, and VERY aggressive, even bitchy attitude for the prettier ones.
We then started talking about them, she said how much power they wield, how they pick up Quebec guys and not the other way around. So by contrast, the local guys here tend to be soft (read: pussies).
Note: This does not reflect my personal opinion, but I am seeing this type of behavior in guys quite a lot though.

Now for the interesting part of the sarge: when she mentioned that guys don't pick her up, I started the Cocky and Funny:
Me: So what you're saying is that you have been here for like 15 mins and no guy has talked to you.
her: yeah.
Me: so like, you, the TOP MODEL, have not been hit on so far this night.
her: starts to smile, she protests, small punch on stomach---> kino baby!!
Me: I continue the teasing, something around the lines of: "How is that possible!! How can guys NOT NOTICE you, oh my god what is wrong with the world!!". This is very much a part of me, i naturally start being loud, faking disbelief and utter amazement. It was working like a charm.
Eventually she asks about me, and i don't know how I talked on how nobody had hit on ME yet, wich is a basically a fresh spin on the teasing I had been throwing at her.

Me: "Yeah I can't believe nobody has spoken to me yet...I mean LOOK at me! How can that be???" (she is laughing, getting that I am still making fun of her).
Then I turn to the crowd and say :"Please, please someone hit on me!!"
She was laughing all the way now, lots of kino, hitting and punching nicely.

Eventually we talked about Switzerland, and I try continuing with the C&F, but it wasnt as good.
She mentioned she was from Lausanne, I mentioned that EVERY single Swiss I meet is from Lausanne, then I mention how utterly boring Switzerland must be, even Geneva, where everything closes early, bla bla bla.
In my opinion it was going quite well, then a guy friend from her group told her let's go to the dance floor. She was obviously hesitating, but since I didnt react quickly enough, she started going there. then she asked me what my name was, and I told her. she then told me her first boyfriend had the same name, which allowed me to be very C&F:
Me: in a very girly manner, faking being emotional "Oh my God that is SOO cute!".
She was laughing away, unfortunately i DIDNT number-close her. I thought that I would see her again later and then would resume the sarging, but didnt.

Good points: C & F works for me, and I seem to finally not come off as too beta-nice-boy at the first impression. I think it is because I don't smile, only grin, and am serious when starting with the opener. (Thank you David DeAngelo).
Another good point is that I have internalized some notions, like not flinching when she mentions her boyfriend and act as if she didnt, and reacting in a cool way to the punching and protesting.

Bad Point: I should've just number closed her, instead of counting on later sarging.

I will continue with the second and third sets in the next post.


"C'est qui son dieu?"
F.