Chronic One-itis Syndrome Example

I'm going to illustrate what I said in my previous post, about how I get into AFC and one-itis mode everytime I find out a girl is interested in me. I will give two simple and recent examples:

The first one is about this asian girl that I often bump into as part of my social circle. As a friend of friends, I see her like once every couple of months. Last fall, I saw her at a house party, and even though asian girls aren't really my type, her body definitely is (she's tall, thin and a brunette). Consequently, and as a confident man, I have to do two things: First, I have to identify what my desires toward that girl are; and second, I have to make the necessary moves to achieve what I want.
In her case, I want to have an open sexual relationship, either as a one-night stand (ONS) or as a fuck buddy (FB).
Things were thus very clear in my head the next time I saw her (at another house party). I was relaxed around her, and my guess is she sensed that I was interested. I also had a feeling that she liked me. Nothing happened during that party, and I didn't spend that much time with her. However, I was very alpha, cracking jokes left and right, and was basically being very sociable. We exchanged contacts because she expressed interest in going to the salsa lessons some of her friends and I had been attending.
Now for the one-itis syndrome. As we had exchanged numbers, my interest in her was thus made clear. What happened is that, when I started thinking about her in the next few days, I would exhibit all the AFC one-itis symptoms: Worrying about pleasing her, about when is the right time to call her; worrying that I might hurt her because I only want sex, and she seems like the quiet sweet type of girl; worrying that she might fall in love with me, etc...

Yuk.

This was typical AFC me. Luckily, I have changed and know more about myself these days. I was thus able to identify those thoughts, and forced myself to recenter my thinking with the following affirmations:

-First of all, I'm not sure I even like her, because we barely know each other. I am merely curious about her and I want to see if she has anything going on for her.
-It is ALL about me. I am not here to please anyone but myself.
-The best way not to hurt her is by being honest. If I make it clear that I am looking for a sexual relationship, she will get the message. She is no dumb girl and can make her own decisions.
-I am in control of my interactions, I lead things where I want them to go. It is my frame, and my job as a man is to be true to myself and to strive to accomplish what I desire.
-I am in control of myself, and do not allow the AFC me to surface. The AFC me is looking for maternal-type nuturing, and thus is the one that causes one-itisness.

I might see that girl on thursday, so this is to be continued...

Now for the second girl:
I met her at my salsa lessons. We had seen each other several times, so last session I said hi and introduced myself. And, during the break, I sat next to her. Most of what I did or said was wrong by PU standard, but she was clearly attracted to me, so that helped. The good stuff I did was mainly when I made a very good C+F comment that sent her laughing for like 5 mins. It happened as follows:

her: I like to travel, I've been around Europe a lot.
Me: Really, that's great! I would love to go there. Europe is my first travel objective. Next, I would love to go to a tropical island. I know it's a cliche, but I can picture myself on a beautiful beach, lying in a hamac, and taken care of by 5 gorgeous tropical beauties.
Her: Yeah, I would like that too.
Me: (Looking puzzled)....You would like to be with FIVE women at the same time!!!???
Her: (looks surprised for a second, then bursts out laughing)
Me: So, you're into not one, not TWO, but FIVE women simultaneously!! You're like into wild orgies with exotic women!!!

At that point she was laughing all the way. The good thing about this comment was that it was sexual, and I can tell she was looking at me differently after it happened.
That was it really. After the break, I immediately went back to the dance floor, without waiting for her to come back from the toilet.
(patting myself on the back for showing non-neediness, and identifying what I wanted at the moment, which was to learn salsa).

I think that, if I play it well with this girl, she will turn into a ONS, maybe even an FB. Apart from being attracted to me, she is only in Montreal for another 4 months, something she made sure to mention :-). Also, on the way out, she said goodbye again and gave me a nice punch on the shoulder.

It seems that this post is turning into one lame field report lol! Anyway, as far as one-itis syndrome is concerned, I am constanly watching myself. So far, I haven't fallen into AFC mode with the second girl yet.

and yes...the training continues.
F.